Confession
by Subtlynice
Summary: This is a fanfic based on The Host by Stephenie Meyer. Mel has a question for Wanderer about her new body. What do you get when you add a mischievious Melanie, a guilt-wracked Wanderer and a concerned Ian? Fluff of course. Ian/Wanda.


**A/N:** This fanfic contains spoilers for the book The Host by Stephenie Meyer. If you haven't read it yet and you don't want it to be spoiled, then don't read!

This is my first fanfic for The Host, so I hope you enjoy it. I love Ian/Wanda and the friendship between Mel and Wanderer, so I couldn't resist writing this.

**Disclaimer:** Most unfortunately, it all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me.

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Confession

"Wanda?"

I sat on the bench, putting a slight distance between myself and the others. It was an ordinary day in the caves and I was- for lack of a better word –sulking. I _wanted_ to help, to do something- anything! But Ian had refused point-blank.

"You're not strong enough Wanda," he'd said, shaking his head as he looked down at me struggling with my load. Then he'd easily grabbed it from my hands and bent down to kiss my pouting lips. "Go take a break. You work yourself too much."

So here I was. Taking a break while the others lugged huge crates through the caves. I felt so… useless.

"Wanda?" The call repeated. I looked up to find Melanie staring down at me with a smirk on her face. I had taken me a long time to stop thinking of it as _my_ face. I still slipped up from time to time, but Mel didn't mind- she thought it was funny. Now, she plonked the crate she had been holding at my feet and sat down beside me. I turned to look at her and found myself straining my neck to look up. Would I ever get used to this? I was sure Mel hadn't been that tall when that was _my_ body. Everything nowadays looked much bigger than it had before.

"You won't mind if I ask you a personal question?" I heard my– no, _Melanie's_ voice ask.

I wasn't on guard at this, but I was confused. Mel had shared my thoughts for months on end. Surely she of all people didn't need to ask me anything personal.

"I won't mind." I said slowly, but intrigued.

Mel's smirk grew wider and I knew I was in trouble. I ran though all the things she could be thinking that caused her to smirk like that. As she was human, devious and rather partial to making my new body blush, I feared there were too many potential thoughts to count.

"How old are you _really_?" She teased. "That new body of yours doesn't hide your lousy lies any better than mine did. Plus, only a fool would believe you were eighteen."

I sighed. "Was I really that obvious?" I asked. I didn't want Ian to know my body's true age. Sure, in reality I was thousands of years older than him, but Ian and his stubborn chivalry… I didn't want something so insignificant to come between us. I remembered Mel's frustration with Jared in the early days of their relationship. She would understand, wouldn't she?

"Yep," she replied gleefully, pulling me out of my thoughts. "No one believes you, you know. Not even Ian, but he senses it's important to you, because you never lie for no good reason. I was interested though…" she trailed off.

"It was only a teensy lie, really." I said guiltily. "I only gave myself one extra year. I just remembered how hard it was for you and Jared at first- when he realised the age gap. I didn't want the same thing to happen between me and Ian. It's stupid, I know."

Mel laughed and ruffled my hair, before settling back to run her fingers through the long blonde locks. I let her- everyone did it, and Mel was still closer to me than anyone.

"Oh, Wanderer," she said, smiling. "You're absurd sometimes. It's good to know our experience didn't go to waste though. I'm glad I could teach you a few tips on silly human men."

I giggled at this- an old habit of Pet's which seemed to have rubbed off on me.

"We'll have to work on your lying skills though, sis." She continued, still playing absent-mindedly with my hair. "And you have to stop giving yourself the guilt trip every time you do something ever-so-slightly wrong."

I beamed. Mel's affection towards me had always been there, but now we were in two different bodies, she really was like a sister to me. Everyone but Jamie and Jeb found our friendship slightly disconcerting. Even Jared and Ian were surprised at the bond we had formed, despite the constant two-way conversations we had had before I had left Mel's body.

"That's what I keep telling her." A deep voice sounded, and I looked up to see Ian standing before us both, looking down at me. It surprised me still how good Ian was at differentiating between Melanie and myself. I was still a little overwhelmed by the simple truth that he loved me. Me, the soul Wanderer, Rides The Bear, Lives In The Stars. Not just Melanie's body. Me.

I blushed suddenly. How long had Ian been standing there? How much of our conversation had he heard, and how much had he understood? Ian's blue eyes blazed into mine with curiosity.

"Wanda? What's wrong?" He asked anxiously. I knew he was worrying about my sudden reaction. In Pet's body I was very prone to blushing, much to my chagrin. I was also very prone to stutters.

"N-n-nothing." I spluttered feebly. Ian raised an eyebrow and Mel smirked. Ian dropped down to my face level and jerked my chin up so that I was gazing into his deep, concerned eyes.

"Wanderer, you've always been a terrible liar. You know I can tell."

I audibly gulped at his words, so very reminiscent of my recent conversation with Mel. Knowing where my thoughts had taken me, as she so often did, Mel burst into fits of laughter at his words.

Ian frowned and shifted his eyes from me for the first time since he'd arrived. "What is it?" He asked Mel, knowing that she would understand my reaction. "What's bothering her?"

Mel controlled her laughter and grinned mischievously. "Wanda's got a deep, dark secret." She stage whispered. "And I've been sworn to secrecy."

Ian cursed at her unhelpfulness, which made me frown. He locked his eyes with mine once more and gave me a penetrating stare, as if he were trying to look straight through my body- right to my soul –and pull the answer out himself.

Seeing that I wouldn't budge, he sighed and stood up, reaching for my hand. I readily took it and he smiled down at me.

"I'll figure it out sooner or later you know." He told me conversationally as we made our way past the throng of people and back to the privacy of our own room. "You can't hide anything from me."

I shook my head, blushing once more. "This is one secret I'll take with me to the grave." I joked, using the human phrase I had picked up from Mel in our time together. He just laughed, oblivious to strangeness of me using the casual human phrase- as if he already thought of me as a being as human as him anyway.

In a way, I felt the same. I no longer felt like a parasite. Pet's body was no longer Pet's- it was mine. Mine and mine alone and the feelings that coursed through me with this knowledge were powerful, staggering; and most definitely human. I knew my place in the universe now: it was here, with Jamie, Mel, Jared, Jeb, Doc, Lily and all my other human friends. It was by Ian's side, where I would stay until my death. I knew I would die soon if I stayed here- I probably only had about seventy years left in this body -but with Ian by my side I couldn't think of a single world I would rather be a part of.

Ian lifted the door for us when we reached our room, before stepping away to allow me to enter first. When we had both walked through he replaced the door behind us. I was so deep in thought that I didn't even offer to help him. Of course, Ian never failed to notice when my behaviour was out of place.

"Alright, out with it." He demanded, lifting me effortlessly and placing me on his lap as he sat down. I immediately blushed and shook my head. "You've been too quiet since we left the others and I know something's up. You can tell me you know."

I hesitated. Ian's offer was tempting, and if what Mel had said was true, I had nothing to fear. Ian could see through all my feeble lies anyway, he must have guessed I was lying from the moment I decided to do so. What did I have to lose?

_Your partner_. I answered for myself. It was a common reaction of mine now- something left over from my old internal conversations with Mel. Ian would always smile when I was lost in thought- he said it reminded him of the times when I would speak to Mel in my head. The early days of him discovering his love for me.

"Wanderer?" Ian pleaded with me. "Answer, please. I'm going out of my mind with worry here."

I instantly regretted my selfish, stupid actions and placed a hand on his cheek to comfort him. He relaxed visibly at my touch and pressed his face into my palm. It was ridiculous how tiny my hand was against his face- I still wasn't used to it. I wondered _when_ I would get used to it.

"It's fine." I said, not sure how to continue. "I was just slightly worried about something. But Mel assured me that I have nothing to worry about at all."

Ian frowned. "What is it?" He asked. "Is it Jamie? Jared? Are they okay?"

I smiled and shook my head. Ian understood my love for them even if I still had difficulties understanding it myself. Ian understood _me_. Much more so than anyone else. Maybe even more so than Melanie.

"No. Everyone's fine. I was concerned about myself; about something I did. Mel told me that I had nothing to feel guilty about."

Ian grinned suddenly, his sapphire eyes lighting up in the darkening room. "What did you do Wanda? Did you finally think of yourself before everyone else here?" He chuckled and pressed his lips to my temple, hugging me tighter to him.

"Yes." I admitted- it was no use trying to deny it. "And I felt terrible for a while."

Ian said nothing; he just waited. I took a deep breath and continued my confession.

"I lied to you. I'm sorry I did it, and my reasons were entirely selfish. I should have been honest and then just hoped for the best, but these last few weeks have been amazing, and I…"

Ian's expression grew concerned for me as I trailed off. I dropped my hands to my lap and looked down at them; my newfound shyness suddenly overpowering me. Ian saw the direction of my gaze and threaded his fingers through mine, clutching my hands tightly in his in a possessive manner which made my heart beat a wild disjointed rhythm and made me remember why I had lied in the first place. Funny, really, how just a simple touch could affect my composure so badly in this body, when in my last, ninth life my body had been the one thing separating us. After a few more seconds of silence he pulled my chin up to allow him to look me in the eyes.

"Please." He whispered huskily, his tone changing to match the new atmosphere. "Just tell me what's wrong."

"I…" my voice shook, but I was determined to follow this through. "I lied about my body's age. I'm seventeen really, not eighteen. It really shouldn't matter between us, because in all honesty I'm thousands of years older than you anyway, but I thought you might want to be honourable; chivalrous, so I lied. It was awful, I know and I'll never do anything like it again, but I-"

I was suddenly cut off from my declaration by Ian's lips, warm and rough on mine just like they had been just a few weeks ago in the game room; only this was much better because we were alone, we were unrestricted and we were limitless. His arms gripped my newly fragile body with more pressure than ever before as his lips moved across mine, and my own arms moved of their own accord to his neck, wrapping around him in a futile attempt to bring him even closer to me- an impossibility. He broke free when we had both been starved of oxygen for far too long, but kept us pressed together, resting his forehead on mine so that our breath mixed as we both panted and sucked in air greedily. As I sat in his lap, desperately gasping for air, I longed to renounce the necessity of breathing- anything to make kisses like that last longer.

He kissed my chin, my nose and my forehead gently once his breathing had calmed, and then he sighed, a peaceful, happy sound.

"You had me worried for a while there." He admitted. "I thought you must have done something terrible." He laughed at this and buried his face in my hair, the thick blond tresses obscuring him from my view. I inwardly cursed my newly long hair and wondered if he'd mind too much if I cut it short, like I had done to Melanie's.

"You're not upset?" I asked stupidly, for his reaction had been far from upset.

"No." He chuckled. "You've basically just admitted to lying in order to spend more time kissing me. And seeing as you never lie, I'd say that's quite an achievement on my behalf. What is there for me to be upset about?"

I thought it through. Now that he put it like that… I really had no idea why I thought he would react badly in the first place. I settled for snuggling up to him instead of trying to think it through more clearly. Thinking with clarity after a kiss like _that_ would truly be a great feat.

"I love you Ian." I said softly into his shirt, suddenly shy again. "You won't decide to act all honourable, will you?"

"If it's what you want, then I'll never be honourable towards you ever again. I knew you were lying anyway- you're still an awful liar." He replied teasingly, before lowering his mouth to my ear to whisper his next words. "Besides, being with you makes it very difficult to think honourable, gentlemanly thoughts."

My blush in response to this was probably ten times worse than it had ever been before. The giggle that escaped my lips was nervous yet excited, and I knew he could tell when he chuckled softly.

If this was the response I got every time I lied, I would happily lie to him more often.

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**A/N:** I hope you liked it! Please take the time to review and tell me what you thought!


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